


Stronger Than Ever

by Fiction_Prince



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, House of Hades, Kissing, M/M, Romance, Touching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-25
Updated: 2013-10-25
Packaged: 2017-12-30 09:55:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1017201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fiction_Prince/pseuds/Fiction_Prince
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nico can't take it any longer and shows up in Percys room in the middle of the night, trying to admit his feelings but things take an unexpected turn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stronger Than Ever

**Author's Note:**

> I've been thinking about writing this fic ever since I finished House of Hades.   
> I hope you enjoy! ~ (Also: truly sorry for any mistakes that might have been made)

Nico woke with a sharp inhale of freezing cold air. He winced and absently moved a hand to his throat as he sat up.   
He was sitting by a tree at the top of a hill, exactly where he had been when he'd fallen asleep.   
That was good.  
He'd been dreaming - never a good thing for demigods - that he had returned to Tartarus. Well, not so much returned... but rather been returned. In the dream, Nico was running from something when suddenly the ground beneath him had opened up and swallowed him. The darkness was so overwhelming that it woke him up.  
At the bottom of the hill, Nico could see the Athena Parthenos lying on its side. Even in the dark, the statue was unbelievably bright from the gold that encased it.   
Somewhere near the statue, Coach Hedge and Reyna were taking shifts watching and sleeping.   
Nico had turned down sleeping by them on the first night, and since then it's been the same.  
"I don't sleep around other people," he grumbled, as Reyna was pulling out a sleeping bag they'd taken from the Argo II.   
"Fine," Reyna said simply, not looking at him. "Just meet here tomorrow morning and don't get yourself killed."  
Easy enough.  
Except of course Coach Hedge simply wouldn't have it. He spouted all sorts of things about danger and monsters and the fact that Nico was their only ride home and if anything happened to him...  
Nico had just rolled his eyes, glanced towards Reyna and melted into the shadows.   
He was sure Reyna handled the situation seeing as every night Nico failed to see Coach Hedge's little satyr legs running around trying to find Nico and drag back.   
He didn't have a watch, but Nico guessed it was probably one or two in the morning.   
At this point there was probably no point in going to sleep save for the fact that if he wasn't strong enough to shadow travel the Athena Parthenos in about five hours he was going to be in trouble. The statue was a beacon for monster attention, and they couldn't stay in the same spot any longer than about twelve hours. It wasn't worth the risk at least.   
Besides, they'd told their friends they'd get it back and everyone will be expecting them back at Camp Half Blood.  
Friends, Nico thought bitterly.   
He didn't think of anyone on the Argo II as friends. Hazel was the closest thing to a friend, but they wouldn't have the same relationship if she wasn't his half sister.   
Jason was probably the next closest thing to a friend. Jason had said that he wanted to be friends with Nico.   
Was that just because he felt bad for him? Not only was Nico an obvious loner, but he was also a queer. It was completely possible Jason just wanted to make Nico feel better because that was the kind of guy Jason was - a nice guy.   
He ran his hands through his hair and closed his eyes, grimacing.   
Was it a possibility Jason meant what he said? Not just about wanting to be Nico's friend but about the rest of the crew and how they would treat him if he told them he was gay.  
No matter what their reactions would be - Jason had told him they'd be supportive and blah blah, all stuff along those lines - he would just be even more of an outsider.   
It's one thing to know you're gay, and its another thing when everyone knows you're gay, including the person you've had a crush on since practically the moment you met him.   
Nico looked down at the ring on his finger, pressing his finger over top of it to feel every small groove. He pushed harder, until it hurt and then released the pressure.   
He didn't want to do it.  
He really didn't want to tell anyone he was gay.   
He also didn't want to have a crush on Percy anymore. He'd almost convinced himself that he was over the son of Poseidon, that he was ridiculous for thinking there was anything more than plain and simple admiration for Percy.   
Who wouldn't admire Percy? Looking up to him was normal - practically every person at Camp Half Blood wished they could be him.   
Nico's feelings were not normal though, and that frustrated him to no end.  
A strong wind passed around him, and the tree he was sitting beside rustled, dropping leaves and twigs on his head. He shivered, and wrapped his arms around himself, pulling his jacket tighter.   
Do you still have feelings for him? a voice in his head asked.   
"No," he said, whispering out loud.  
Yes.   
He let out an angry sigh.   
He could go to where Percy is right now and just say it. Saying it out loud would settle things once and for all. Percy would say something along the lines of no way in hell and then Nico's feelings would go away.   
Probably.   
Probably not.   
He put his head down in between his knees and let out another angry sigh, fierce enough that a small growl came from his throat.   
It would probably just make things worse.   
He stood up. A couple leaves fell off his shoulders.   
Nico closed his eyes, and knew he would come to regret this later. Even though his mind was telling him not to, his body melted into the shadows.

He appeared on the deck of Argo II. Leo had his head down at the front of the ship fiddling with something shiny, and occasionally reaching to a panel to click some buttons. Other than that the deck was deserted. Everyone was in their rooms sleeping seeing as it was the middle of the night...  
Nico was so quiet when he walked that he didn't need worry about getting caught by Leo. Besides, the son of Hephaestus had his head down in his work, and once he started working there was really no stopping him.  
Slowly Nico took to the stairs that led down to the deck where everyone had their rooms. It was a lot warmer here than it had been when he was sleeping outside in only in jacket and a loose pair of jeans.   
He wasn't exactly sure which room was Percy's, and the entire time he wandered through the hallways his mind was screaming Retreat! Abort Mission!  
But he was here, and he was tired and really had no idea what he was trying to accomplish but he figured if there was any chance that coming here would make him change his feelings then fine.  
He made a turn into a short corridor with four rooms. The two on his right read ANNABETH and PIPER. The other two didn't have writing on it. Nico remembered something about Rachel back at camp painting things inside the ship to give it a more personal touch. He assumed that one of the other ones belonged to Hazel, who they hadn't known was going to be coming with the, but they were obviously expecting more people to be on board with all the rooms that were in the lower deck.   
Seeing Annabeths name didn't sit well with Nico.   
He wasn't sure exactly what the emotion was but it was a sort of mix of anger, jealousy, annoyance... but also guilt.   
He didn't hate Annabeth as a person. She was the brainiest person he'd ever met, and she was tough. But he had spent so long resenting her because she got to end up with Percy, that he almost felt bad. It wasn't her fault Percy wasn't into dudes. It wasn't fair for him to dislike her so strongly.  
But then again, nothing in Nico's life seemed fair, so he shrugged it off and turned away from the corridor. There was another one across the hall with similar doors.   
On the one closest to him COACH HEDGE was painted on the door. The next was blank and the last one said JASON.   
The blank one could be Percy's. But then again they had known he was going to be coming with them, so they probably would have painted him a door...  
Nico regretted not exploring the ship more when he had the chance.   
As he made his way down the hallway, he saw that the hallway continued, it just veered off to the left.   
LEO was written on the closest one and finally PERCY was written on the last.   
That other blank one must be Frank's, he thought idly as he placed his hand on the doorknob.  
He was afraid that Percy might be awake... but then again it would probably work out better if he was awake considering if he wasn't Nico would have to wake him up somehow.  
There wasn't really any point in telling the guy you're in love with that you're in love with him while he's asleep.  
Nico cringed.   
Before Jason and him had encountered Cupid a couple weeks ago, Nico wouldn't have even considered love as a part of his vocabulary. It was all just a stupid crush. A really, really powerful stupid crush... But then Cupid brought it out of him, and he knew that yeah, he had been in love with Percy.   
'Had been' were the key words there. He had to remember that these were not feelings he still had... well that he sort of still had but not really...  
Nico let out one quiet, exasperated sigh before turning the doorknob.   
The room was not completely dark. There was a window on the other side of the room which was letting a surprisingly large amount of light. Nico could make out the shape of Percy's body in bed. The rise and fall of his chest as he breathed was almost mesmerizing.  
Stop it.  
Nico carefully shut the door behind him, and took a couple steps towards Percy's bed.   
He could see more clearly now that the moon was shining directly into Percy's window, which was why it was so bright.   
Suddenly he felt bad about showing up at all. Percy was sleeping so peacefully, which usually didn't happen very much for demigods. Still though, he came this far and if he gave up now he knew he'd never show up here again.   
Nico didn't want to touch Percy. Instead he reached for the pillow Percy didn't have his head on and brought it down lightly onto Percy's side.   
Apparently he had used more strength than he intended, because Percy jolted violently awake.  
"What's happening?" he asked, his eyes hardly open as he tried to sit up.   
Nico didn't say anything.   
Percy rubbed at his eyes and yawned before actually seeing who his awakener was, apparently not sensing any sort of threat.  
"Nice bedhead," Nico managed, weakly, trying to lather on the sarcasm but falling short. Truth was even though Percy's hair was messy it was rather a good look for him.  
"Nico?" Percy said loudly, wiping at his mouth which he suddenly realized had drool on it. Much to Percy's despair, it was common knowledge with most people that Percy drooled, and he got teased for it a lot.   
"Shhh, don't talk so loud," Nico said, glancing at the door as if the other six of the great prophecy were going to burst through, guns blazing, and kick Nico off the ship.   
"What's wrong? Did something happen - is the Athena Parthenos - are Reyna and the Coach okay?" the questions flip flopped off of his tongue. He'd thrown back the covers by now and looked like he was going to run into battle. Minus the fact he was wearing a tank top and striped blue boxers - not really typical fighting gear these days.   
Focus.   
"Everything's fine, calm down," Nico said, adding the last part more for his own sake. "I'm here for a different reason."   
"Oh," Percy said, slumping his shoulders into a more relaxed position. "Okay, what's up? And I'm assuming you shadow travelled here, but shouldn't you be saving your strength for-"  
"Shut up," Nico said, digging his fingernails into his hands, trying to keep himself calm. "Just..."  
Percy looked confused, but he was quiet.   
"I... shit. I can't do this," he said with a shaky voice. "Shit," he repeated, turning around.  
Before he could work up the strength to shadow travel away, Percy stood up quickly and grabbed his arm.  
"Nico, don't disappear. You can't show up like this and then just leave. What's going on?"  
He was holding Nico's wrist, and was so close Nico could hear his breathing.   
"Get off me!" Nico hissed as quietly as possible, pulling his arm away and shoving Percy backwards, which apparently took Percy by surprise by the way he was stumbling backwards.   
"You can't touch me okay, you just can't touch me," Nico said shakily.   
Once Percy had regained his balance, he put his hands up. "I'm sorry, I won't touch you again," he said, stepping back to give Nico his space.  
Oh GODS, Nico screamed in his head.   
"Why are you always like that?" Nico asked angrily, before he could stop himself.  
Percy gave him a questioning look.   
"You-You..." Nico put his head in his hands in frustration.   
Percy was so unlike Nico it killed him. Percy was nice, and courteous, and funny, and easily likable - basically everything Nico wasn't.  
And here he was, about to yell insults at the person he was there to profess his love to... things were going super well.   
"Nico-" Percy said, about to step forward but thought better of it.  
"I have had a crush on you since I met you, okay?" Nico practically yelled, but using his inside yelling voice. He couldn't forget that they weren't the only people on this ship.   
He tore his head away from his hands as he said it, and almost immediately put them back up, but stopped himself.   
Percy didn't react.   
That was possibly the worst thing that Nico could have imagined.   
He'd been hoping Percy would yell at him to get out, or stare at him bewildered, or maybe punch him in the face - anything but a non-reaction.   
Nico knew he was glaring, but he couldn't stop.  
Percy just looked at him, and very slowly took a small step forward.  
"Well?" Nico said, looking down at the ground. He shifted uncomfortably. "Aren't you going to... I don't know, do something?" His voice was thick with uncertainty, and he wanted to shadow travel his ass out of there as fast as possible, but he was paralyzed in his spot, staring at the ground.   
"Really?" was his reply.  
Nico looked up at him, but couldn't read Percy's expression.   
"Yes," Nico said, choosing to look back at the floor. It came out with a sigh, almost sad. He could feel his anger leaving his body, and was being replaced with sheer tiredness.   
"All this time?"  
"Yes."  
"Why didn't you say anything?"  
Nico's eyes snapped up. "Why do think?" he exclaimed, a knot tying in his stomach. His breathing hitched, and he was trying not to cry. "You have always had beautiful, perfect Annabeth and I'm just a good for nothing son of Hades with an easily hatable personality, so gee I wonder why I never said anything."  
Percy pursed his lips. "You're not good for nothing, Nico. Why would you say something like that about yourself? You saved my life, you know that? You've done so much for us-"  
"Stop!" Nico cried, wiping at his eyes. He was exasperated by the fact that Percy wanted to focus on this subject than the ever looming 'i have a crush on you' subject. "I didn't come here for you to lie to me."  
"I'm not lying."  
"Whatever. If that's all you have to say about that then I'm leaving-"  
"Nico," Percy said softly. "Don't leave."   
There was this look that Percy was making, like he truly wanted Nico to stay. His voice was so soft and convincing, and hearing it made Nico feel like he could never deny Percy of anything.  
"Okay," he croaked.  
Percy sat down on his bed, and Nico slowly made his way over, perching on the very edge, ready to bolt at any moment if he had to.   
"I-" he pressed his finger into his ring until it hurt and then released. "I don't want to sit here and talk about my feelings."   
"Isn't that the reason you came here in the first place."  
"No. I came here for you to tell me that you never wanted to see me again. Then I could leave here knowing there was no chance in hell that you would feel anything for me ever, and I could move on."  
Percy bit his lip, thinking about Nico's words.   
"Besides," Nico continued when Percy said nothing. "You have a girlfriend who I'm sure you're going to run off with after this is all done and get married, have a thousand kids and live happily ever after."  
"Nico..."   
There it was again. That very soft voice that made Nico's chest swell and his head dizzy.   
"I don't have feelings for you anymore. I mean I do, but I'm almost over it-"  
"And coming here was going to be the final move," Percy said, staring at him with eyes like sea water. "I was going to kick you out and that would be the end of that."  
Nico gulped, and nodded.   
"And then what? You were just going to disappear?"  
"That was kind of the plan," Nico whispered, his voice hoarse. He moved his hand slightly away from Percy's so they weren't touching anymore.  
Percy abruptly sat up. "Kiss me then."  
Nico wasn't sure he heard that right. "W-what?"  
"Kiss me, and we'll see if you actually have a crush on me."  
Nico stumbled off the bed. "N-no," he stuttered.   
Nico was pretty sure that kissing Percy was going to make things a thousand billion times worse. "How in Hades would that help?"  
Percy was hardly readable. But Nico knew the kind of person Percy was. Percy wouldn't say something so rash as a joke, or to be cheeky.   
"Did you ever think maybe you didn't have a crush on me, but more of the idea of me? I mean I'm not trying to sound self centred, oh gods, I don't mean it like that but I mean maybe if you kiss me you'll see that its not what you were... thinking it was going to be. And maybe you'll realize it wasn't actually me after all."   
It was almost like he was trying to be... helpful.  
Percy wasn't inside Nico's mind though. He didn't feel what Nico was feeling, so he couldn't really understand that what Percy was suggesting was... It almost sounded convincing though. That Nico admired Percy too much, and then hated him when Bianca died. Hated him not only because Bianca died, but because Nico couldn't stand the fact that he still found Percy so admirable. And it was from there that grew this anger, and then he had fooled himself into thinking this was all because he was in love with Percy. All these emotions he was feeling all stemmed from that and he never truly loved Percy at all - just the type of person Percy; the type of person Nico wished he was.   
For a minute, Nico believed it.   
"I..." he looked at Percy. Confusion about his feelings swelled throughout him. What was new?  
"Come on, Nico just try it," Percy said, not seeing the effect it was having on Nico.   
Nico wanted to say so much, but nothing came from his mouth. Percy didn't realize that it wasn't just some crush. It was something that he carried with him everyday, and haunted him mercilessly and to the point where Nico hated himself and hated his existence.  
"What about Annabeth?" Nico said, unable to say anything else. Was he technically agreeing to the kiss by asking that question?  
Percy blinked. "It's just a kiss, Nico. I'm trying to help you, it's not a big deal. Besides - you don't have to if you don't want to. I just thought it might help."  
Just a kiss. It's no big deal. Thought it might help.  
Nico couldn't believe this was happening. He sighed shakily, done arguing with himself. If Percy turns out to be right and this does fix all of his problems... But if it doesn't-  
He hardly hears the thought over the pulsing in his ears as he sits down on the bed and leans in.   
He's relieved that Percy saw it coming, and leaned in as well. It would have been embarrassing if he'd just been sitting there, lips puckered.   
Nico's never kissed anyone before.   
Percy's lips are soft, and oh gods they feel so good on Nico's.   
The kiss doesn't last long, and its closed mouth. Apart from their lips, they aren't touching.  
Nico feels like an electric shock just pulsed through his body and its the most amazing feeling in the entire world.  
But its a short kiss, and Percy pulls away, his face flushed. "I just realized I haven't brushed my teeth..." he said sheepishly. "Sorry about that."   
Nico stared at Percy, eyes wide.   
The kiss did not help.   
The kiss definitely, definitely made things worse.   
Nico opened his mouth to say something but couldn't.   
"How, um, how did that go?" Percy said, his voice sounding uncertain. It seemed Percy was starting to realize maybe that his plan was not as simple as he thought it was.  
"I'm going to leave," Nico announced, standing up.   
"What! You can't leave so suddenly."  
Nico threw his hands in the air. "Why not, Percy?" saying the name stung his throat. "That did not work at all. If anything, now I just want to kiss you more."  
"That was stupid I'm sorry. I really thought-" his voice was layered with regret.   
"Obviously you didn't think hard enough," Nico said sharply, his skin even paler than usual. "I didn't either. I knew this was an awful idea."  
But I really, really wanted to kiss you.   
Nico had never hated himself more.   
"I liked it though, if that um, I don't know makes you feel any better."  
Nico looked at Percy. Really, truly looked at Percy.  
Who was Percy though?  
He was a doofus. He was constantly making jokes. He didn't usually take himself too seriously.  
That was not the Percy that Nico had a crush on.   
He had a crush on the Percy who was strong, self sacrificing for his friends for the world and for people he didn't know. He was afraid of hardly anything and was always doing what he thought was the right thing.   
Here though, between the fights and serious face he puts on for people, he is just Percy. He's not wearing his serious face, and he's not wearing his happy face he's just Percy.   
This was the person Nico wanted.   
Nico had fallen in love with Percy's physical, mental, and emotional strength but what he was here... was just a guy. Trying to help out a friend, and he messed it up.   
"Don't try to make me feel better," Nico whispered.  
"I'm not just saying that," Percy's got his head down, so his face is unreadable. "I... kind of want to kiss you again."  
Slowly, Percy slid off the bed and walked towards Nico.  
Nico feels like his legs are buckling. If Percy comes near him, he won't be able to control himself.   
"Percy-"  
"Can I kiss you again?" Percy asked. He was standing at a safe distance, making sure not to step too far into Nico's personal space without permission.  
It only took a step for Nico to able to kiss Percy again, this time with force. He couldn't stop himself.  
He grabbed the back of Percy's head and kissed him as hard as he could.   
It only took a moment for Percy to place a hand on Nico's hip and pull him closer.   
Nico felt like electricity was coursing through his veins.  
Percy licked his tongue along Nico's lip and it drove Nico to insanity.   
One moment they were standing and the next moment the two of them were on Percy's bed. Nico grabbed a fistful of Percy's hair and moved his other hand along the length of Percy's side.   
At some point, Nico had slipped off his bomber jacket, and Percy was running his hands under Nico's T-shirt, his fingers leaving a fire-like trail along Nico's spine.   
Nico'd never touched a person like this before, or been touched like this. He'd thought about Percy like this before but never in a million years would he have thought...  
Percy trailed kisses down the side of Nico's neck.  
"I would do anything you asked me to," Nico whispered so quietly, he almost didn't think Percy had even heard it.   
Percy stopped kissing his neck and looked up at Nico's face, studying him.   
"All I want you to do is keep kissing me," Percy said, through ragged breaths.   
Nico leaned down to meet their lips together once more.   
He meant it.   
No matter how he felt about Percy, he would do anything for him.  
It could have been hours, Nico wasn't sure but eventually they ended up lying side by side, just breathing.  
"Nico?"  
"Yeah?"  
"There's one thing I want you to do."  
Nico didn't say anything.  
"I want you to move on," Percy said. He took a deep breath. "I'm not worth your time, truly. There are people out there for you Nico, but you'll never know that unless you go out and look for them."  
Nico had been right in thinking this was a one time deal.   
It pained him, knowing he wouldn't be back here the next night kissing Percy again, but he sort of understood it. It wasn't healthy for either of them.  
Then again, everything about Nico's lifestyle was technically unhealthy... but Percy was something he couldn't have.   
"I-" His voice faltered. He was trying really hard to say it. "I will try."   
He didn't believe it yet.   
For gods sake, he had just spent the whole night making out with the boy he'd had a crush on since the dawn of time... but it was weird.   
Because now that it had happened, in a way he could almost see being able to move on. He could see that Percy wasn't going to be everything for him, and Percy saying this made it all the more clear.   
This was a one time thing, but for some reason that was okay with Nico.  
"I should go," Nico said, looking out the window. The sun hadn't come up yet, but it would be very soon and he needed to make it back to the Athena Parthenos.   
"Yeah," Percy said, and Nico was almost hurt that he didn't protest.   
Almost.  
But both of them had bigger things to deal with. The end of the world was coming and they were both headed in the complete opposite directions.   
Nico stood up and slid on his jacket.   
"I just have one question."  
Percy looked at him tentatively.   
"When I came in, you were sleeping at peace. Like you weren't dreaming."  
"Ever since I got back I haven't been dreaming," Percy said, like he'd spent a lot of time thinking about it.  
Nico didn't want to push it any further.  
"Bye Percy."  
"Bye Nico.  
"And thanks."  
And with that, Nico melted into the shadows and appeared back under the tree where he had been sleeping a few hours ago.  
There was no goodbye kiss. Goodbye kisses linger.   
That was final. That was the farthest Nico was going to get with Percy, and while he felt miserable thinking about it, he also felt surprisingly good.   
Maybe Percy was right after all, when he said that a kiss might change things. They didn't change exactly the way Percy had thought they would... but Nico was already changing a little bit.   
Of course that could just be the euphoria he was feeling after kissing Percy for so long and any non-awful thoughts he had might change within the next five minutes... but he was okay for now.   
The sun was starting to rise and he made his way down the hill to be greeted by Coach Hedge and Reyna. He hoped he didn't look too much like he'd been making out all night, but he also didn't really care.   
Neither of them said anything about it.  
"Do you feel strong today?" Reyna asked, as she rolled up her sleeping bag.  
Nico looked at the Athena Parthenos. The task of taking it back to Camp Half Blood seemed entirely possible after what he'd done last night.  
"Yeah," he said, nodding. "I feel stronger than ever."

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment! ~ Thank you so much for reading!


End file.
